Putting Feelings in their Proper Place

I read something today that said, "You are always responsible for how you act. No matter how you feel." And then my conscience received this tiny prick of conviction and I realized how guilty I am of doing the complete opposite. Lately I've been feeling very hurt and very frustrated with a good friend of mine. He was my not-exactly-boyfriend-because-we-weren't-going-out-but-had-feelings-for-each-other type of friend. Perhaps you know the kind. And if you don't, take my word for it: they're truly a confusing bunch. Recently though, things have changed. He's been going through a rough time and has been uncertain about just about everything in his life. He left for a week vacation and came back telling me he decided he no longer has feelings for me. He had a few reasons that just really riled me all up. (I don't even know if that's a true phrase, but I was definitely riled.) A very long and confusing story short, I've been frustrated with him.

Now see, I'm not sure that frustration is necessarily wrong. It's a natural reaction to circumstances. But I have been so struggling to put that frustration aside and be the Godly friend to him I know I am to be. He is hurting right now also and I have been burdened in prayer for him. I cannot let my feelings get in the way of sharing God's encouragement and peace with my friend! In my heart of hearts, I know we cannot pursue a relationship until his relationship with God gets back on track. For whatever reason, he's struggling with that right now. Just being friends is best, I completely agree with him. But his methods and reasons... well, that's another story! 

I've been working on putting my feelings aside and being there for him. I certainly haven't failed miserably, but I have lots of room for improvement. For me, this is truly something I can do by God's grace alone. It's an, "I need Thee every hour" type of situation. But the joy of the Lord is my strength, and in Christ I can do all things! Amen!

The To-Do List

I'm trying to take one day at a time and enjoy each little task every day brings. Today, I...

• mailed rental textbooks back at the UPS store. The lady was very friendly.
• went to MSSU.
• bought new textbooks from the bookstore.
• finally got my parking permit. Realized that I also need another permit for the other car.
• forgot to go to walmart to get the cat's flea medicine, even though I wrote it in my planner.
• went to ULTA to get hair gel for my very high maintenance curly, frizzy, messy hair.
• ate chocolate chip cookies.
• watched half of a very strange movie with my mom and then escaped from the living room.
• applied to more jobs. And hey... starbucks is hiring!! My fingers are crossed!!
• made some phone calls to the financial aid department about some scholarship questions.
• wrote an encouraging words note to a friend whose been on my heart recently.
• had some awesome time with Jesus... I've been in Isaiah the past few days, one of my favs.
• listened to Will Reagan and the United Pursuit Band. Gooood heartfelt worship time.
• it rained! I didn't do that. But it was an exciting event.
• getting ready to go run my two miles.

It was just an average Wednesday, but honestly, I've enjoyed it!  I'm so praying for a job. And for school to go well. And for my friend to be okay. And I know I serve a faithful God, and I'm so very thankful. :)

Promotion Sunday

Every Sunday morning I teach the 2A Sunday School class. It is usually the highlight of my week! I have sweet twos and love sharing Jesus' love with them. This week all the classes promoted. It made my teacher's heart sad to say goodbye to all my little friends, but welcoming the new group almost made up for it! I had six not-quite-twos. You could tell they weren't quite used to my way of doing things, with a very structured morning and a Bible lesson. My class that just left was getting the hang of all of our fingerplays and Bible songs, but these newbies just looked at me with big eyes that clearly thought, "Crazy lady, stop telling me to point to God's Word and show you my ten fingers!" We had a great morning though with almost no tears! I'm excited for a new year with these sweet little ones. Here's what we do during our lesson/music time:

1.) "Ten Fingers" Fingerplay:
       I have ten fingers that all belong to me. I can make them do things, would you like to see?
       I can close them up tight, I can open them up wide. 
       I can put them together, I can make them all hide.
      I can can make them jump high, I can make them jump low.
      I can fold them together quietly and hold them just so.
2.) I show them my Bible and say, "This is the Bible. It's full of God's Words. God's Word is true." Then each child points to our memory verse as I sing.
       (sing to the tune of "Here Go Round the Mulberry Bush")
       This is the way we point to God's Word, point to God's Word, point to God's Word.
       This is the way we point to God's Word, because God's Word is true.
3.) I show a mirror to each child and say, "God made (name) and God loves (name)!"
4.) I show the Bible story picture and ask them to point to something.
5.) I tell a short (60 second) Bible story.
6.) We sing two hymns and do our own actions. Some of our favorites are: God is so Good, Trust and Obey, I Have Decided to Follow Jesus, Jesus Loves Me, and My God is So Big
7.) I pray for each child by name.

Sometimes (like this morning) I'm just talking and singing to the class, but it doesn't take too long for them to do it with me! And after a while, they know what is coming and will start to do the next part of our routine if I don't start it fast enough. They are all so cute!

Sacred Surrendering

There are so many changes happening in life right now. It's just a little crazy. Part of me is a little excited for everything that is to come, for all that I know and trust God is going to do, for something new and different and challenging. Another part is completely heartbroken at everything I'm saying goodbye to. But that's how life goes, right? 

I can hear God's quiet whisper to my soul telling me to surrender it all to Him. To rest in His presence. To trust in His plan. To know that I must decrease. Everything that is about me must go away. Sometimes we are to surrender even the good things. Things that aren't sinful, or worldly, or even selfish. Sometimes we have to give those up too, in order for God's will to be done in His best way possible. That's hard. It hurts. But then we can give that heartache to God. More surrender, more trusting, more decreasing. All the while knowing that God is crafting a beautiful story out of our lives that brings glory to Him. I pray my life may be a pleasing offering to Him!

"Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with ashes!" Elisabeth Elliot